There is no single correct answer for every family. Some people want a clean end point and prefer deletion. Others want the profile preserved as a memorial. Some families want to save photos and messages first, then decide what to do account by account.
The best framing is usually this: should the account be deleted, memorialised, preserved first, or handled differently depending on the platform?
When deletion is usually the better option
- The account continuing to appear online feels distressing.
- The family does not want an ongoing public profile.
- The account creates privacy or misuse concerns.
- There is no meaningful reason to keep it visible.
When memorialisation can make more sense
- The profile holds sentimental value.
- Friends and wider networks want a place to leave tributes.
- The platform offers a memorial state that protects the account while preserving the visible timeline.
What families often forget
The best answer is not always at either extreme. In many cases, it makes sense to preserve important material first, then delete the account. That can mean downloading photos, keeping written records, or making different choices across Facebook, Instagram, email, and cloud services.
Why this decision feels harder in practice
Families are usually making this choice while tired, grieving, and unsure what each platform even allows. The emotional friction is often made worse by reminders, resurfaced content, or pressure from different relatives who want different outcomes.
A practical decision order
- Decide whether the account continuing to exist feels helpful or painful.
- Check if the platform allows memorialisation or only removal.
- Preserve anything important first if needed.
- Choose the final route account by account, not necessarily the same for every service.
If you are a bereaved parent
The Compassionate Friends, the UK charity for bereaved parents and siblings, publishes a free leaflet, Our Child, Social Media and their Digital Legacy. It is gentle and practical on exactly these decisions, including the choice to pause before you step into your child's online world. Printed copies are free from their office.
When support is useful
If you are handling mixed decisions across several platforms, the work usually stops being one simple request and becomes a wider case management problem. That is often when families prefer to hand the process off instead of coordinating it themselves.
If you want support deciding and handling the requests afterwards, start a case here.