For many families the hardest part is not the form. It is deciding what the right outcome is, often while relatives want different things and the profile is still there, suggesting the person as a friend to people who knew them.
There is no single right answer, but there is a right order to decide in, and there are a few facts about what each platform actually does that make the decision easier. This guide covers both.
In short: memorialising locks the account and keeps it visible with "Remembering" by the name. Removing deletes it for good. You can memorialise now and remove later, but you cannot bring a removed account back, so if anyone in the family is unsure, memorialise first and save what matters before anything else.
What each choice actually does
Memorialised means nobody can ever log in again, the word "Remembering" appears next to the name, the profile stops appearing in birthday reminders and "People you may know", and everything the person posted stays visible to the people who could see it before. On Facebook, a legacy contact the person chose while alive can then look after the profile: pin a tribute post, change the profile picture, respond to friend requests, and ask for the account to be removed later. On Instagram, a memorialised profile with no legacy contact cannot be changed at all, not even a comment.
Removed means the profile, the photos, the posts and the messages are deleted from the platform. Meta says it can take up to 90 days to delete everything from its systems. Nothing comes back afterwards.
Left alone is the third option, and the one most families choose by default, because nobody decides. An untouched account can be logged into by anyone who has or guesses the password, keeps generating reminders, and is the one that ends up posting scam links to the person's friends a year later.
Which platforms offer which
- Facebook and Instagram: memorialise or remove. Both honour a setting the person may have chosen while alive to delete the account after death, whatever the family would prefer.
- LinkedIn: memorialise or close.
- X (Twitter): deactivation only. There is no memorial state.
- TikTok: memorialise or delete. A memorialised TikTok account keeps its videos visible but can no longer be Duetted, Stitched or recommended.
- Snapchat, Pinterest, Reddit: removal only. No memorial state.
- WhatsApp: no memorial state, and the account is deleted by WhatsApp itself after 120 days of inactivity. Export the chats you want before that.
- Google and Apple: closure, with data access only through their own legacy tools or a court order. Our Google and Apple guides explain.
Preserve first, decide second
Whatever the family decides, save what matters before anything is closed. Once an account is removed, the platform will not retrieve the photos for you, and a memorialised account cannot be logged into either.
Facebook and Instagram photos can be saved one at a time from any account that could see them. If the person's phone is unlocked, the camera roll usually holds the originals. Our finding accounts guide lists the other places copies live.
Facebook and Instagram messages are not visible on a memorialised profile and are deleted with a removed one. If they matter, the person's own device is the only practical source. WhatsApp chats can be exported from the phone.
Comments and posts by friends after the death are often what the family most wants to keep. Screenshot them or save the page as a PDF from a laptop before requesting removal.
When removal is usually right
- The profile continuing to exist is distressing, and the family wants a clean end.
- The person was private and would not have wanted a public memorial.
- The account has already been hacked or is being used to message people.
- Nobody is going to look after a memorial, and the family would rather it did not sit unattended.
When memorialisation usually makes more sense
- Friends and wider family want somewhere to leave messages, especially after a sudden or young death.
- The photos and posts are the fullest record of the person's life that exists, and the family is not ready to lose them.
- The family is divided. Memorialising is reversible; removal is not.
- A legacy contact was set up, which suggests the person wanted the profile kept.
Different answers for different accounts
Most families end up with a mix, and that is fine. A common pattern is to memorialise Facebook, where the tributes are, remove Instagram and X, which nobody visits, close the email and shopping accounts, and keep the Apple or Google account open for a few months until the photos are safely copied. Each platform is a separate request, so each can have its own answer.
When the family disagrees
The platforms will act on the first valid request they receive, and they do not referee families. If one sibling wants removal and another wants a memorial, the practical route is to memorialise now, which stops anything else happening to the account, and agree a date to revisit. Removal can be requested later by immediate family or the executor; a removed account cannot be un-removed. If the person left instructions, in a will, a letter or their own Facebook settings, those settle it, and Facebook will follow the person's own setting regardless.
If you are a bereaved parent
The Compassionate Friends, the UK charity for bereaved parents and siblings, publishes a free leaflet, Our Child, Social Media and their Digital Legacy. It is gentle and practical on exactly these decisions, including the choice to pause before you step into your child's online world. Printed copies are free from their office.
A practical order to decide in
Before any request, on every platform.
A legacy contact, a "delete after death" setting, a note in the will. On Facebook: Settings, Accounts Centre, Memorialisation, if you can see it.
This can be done today, by anyone, with an obituary. It stops logins and reminders while the family thinks.
Or let us handle the requests
Departed Digital is built for mixed cases: some accounts memorialised, some removed, in one case with the documents sent once and a written record at the end. If the family has not decided, we will tell you which accounts can wait and which cannot. Packages start from £149.
Decided, or half decided? Start a case and mark each account "close", "memorialise" or "not sure yet". Not sure is a valid answer, and we will come back to it with you.